Think Big

Thought for the day… "Stand up to your obstacles & do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have...."
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Think BIG!

A man was caught and thrown into a pit of about "40 feet" deep, just because he was a stranger. He struggled trying to get out of the pit, but the more he tried, the weaker his muscles became. He said to himself, "I don't know how to get myself out of this. Maybe I should just die instead of enduring these miserable struggles and pains."

Just then, he heard a voice screaming, "Help! Help!! Help!!!" The shouts were coming from another pit, which was "10 feet" deeper than the one he was in. He thought to himself, "Wow, so there is somebody else like me trapped here too."

Listening carefully, he heard some cracking and sand dropping from the wall of the pit of the other victim. Immediately he summed up his courage and with his last bit of strength, started crawling little by little until he made it out of his pit.

Morals of the Story:

That pain you think you are passing through, there are people worst off than you. Always say something sweet to yourself. 

Always smile at your pains. Let them be; they are just there for a while and also to challenge you. Today may be your darkest hour, but your joy will come in the morning.

Try to encourage yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, beat your chest and say, "I can make it and I can stand the test of time."

Always try to face your worst fear because nothing GOOD comes easy. You must be UNCOMFORTABLE to get to your COMFORT ZONE.

Think BIG! Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps

Things that matters ...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnais

e jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

The truth is ...

Recently, I saw a movie, Cocktail. The plot revolves around a philanderer hero who has to make the tough choice between two hot women. The uber-modern movie was set in London. The characters drank, danced in nightclubs and had one-night stands with aplomb. They worked in new-age aspirational jobs like glamour photography, graphic art and software design. And yet, the guy eventually chooses the girl who cooks home food, dresses conservatively, wins his mother's approval and is happy to be the ideal Indian wife. In fact, even the rejected girl, a free-spirited, independent woman agrees to change herself. To get the guy, she is happy to cook and change her lifestyle to match that of the ideal Indian wife.

While the movie was fun, such depictions disturb me a little. When successful, strong women are portrayed as finding salvation in making dal and roti for their husbands, one wonders what kind of India we are presenting to our little girls.

Really, is that what a woman's life is all about — to make hot phulkas? Of course, I shouldn't be so bothered, many would say. It is a Bollywood movie. The commercial pressure to present a palatable story is real. Above all, the makers have a right to tell the narrative they want.

Yet, when our most modern and forward cinema sinks into regressive territory, it is unfair to our women. It is also depressing because deep down we know such attitudes exist. Many Indian men, even the educated ones, have two distinct profiles of women — the girlfriend material and the wife material. One you party with, the other you take home. The prejudice against non-traditional women who assert themselves is strong.

Let us look at another part of the world. Yahoo, a leading tech firm and a Fortune 500 company, recently hired a new woman CEO, Marissa Mayer What's more, she was six months pregnant when she was hired, a fact she did not hide in her interviews. Marissa will take some time off after childbirth and will be back at work later. She can manage both. There is something to celebrate about that. Marissa is a role model for women and even men.

I'd like Indian men to have an open mind about choosing their life partners and revise their 'ideal woman' criteria. Having a traditional wife who cooks, cleans and is submissive might be nice and it should be a personal choice. However, choosing a capable, independent and career-oriented woman can also bring enormous benefits. For instance, one, a man who marries a career woman gets a partner to discuss his own career with. A working woman may be able to relate better to organizational issues than a housewife. A spouse who understands office politics and can give you good advice can be an asset. Two, a working woman diversifies the family income streams. In the era of expensive apartments and frequent lay-offs, a working spouse can help you afford a decent house and feel more secure about finances. Three, a working woman is better exposed to the world. She brings back knowledge and information that can be useful to the family. Whether it's the latest deals or the best mutual fund to invest in, or even new holiday destinations, a working woman can add to the quality of life. Four, the children of a working woman learn to be more independent and will do better than mollycoddled children. Five, working women often find some fulfillment in their jobs, apart from home. Hence, they may have better life satisfaction, and feel less dependent on the man. This in turn can lead to more harmony. Of course, all these benefits accrue if men are able to keep their massive, fragile egos aside and see women as equals.

Having said that,  most of us have  failed to understand the fact that both the women, "the ghar wali" and the "working one" are in fact two independent individuals who have different lifestyles. While one spends time looking after her children, the other chooses to get a job and work for the house. Comparing them and classifying which one is more beneficial and will get more life satisfaction is not only wrong but very concerning. Both has its own benefits and flaws. I personally believe guy has the right to choose the any one of them but the decision should be entirely of the women to decide about her lifestyle.For us the focus should be rather on marrying the one that you love, not the one that the society wants you to love. If you love the "working one", go for it. If you love the "ghar wali" go marry her. If you love a man, just do it. We should not be the ones telling them who to marry and why. He/she should have the mentality to be able to understand that marriage is not a "business" but a personal choice - and this is what we, as part of the society, should promote - not who is the better bride. The society, including me, needs to stop telling individuals the "better life partner" for them but rather focus on the need for individuals to stop seeing marriage as a "samjhota" and women as "commodities".

Sure, there are drawbacks also in being with working women. You have to outsource most part of the work but more importantly your kids will be spending time with others when they need you most. Money is not an answer to kid's requirement of love from parents. But the modern age that we are in why not give women a choice to make. They know what is better for them and why can't the couple sit and make decision with mutual consent. Whats wrong if a girl is career concentric or she is not interested in corporate world. Everything has its own benefits and drawback.  Please bear that in mind before you judge women based on their clothes, interest in the kitchen or the confidence in their voice.The people who think women who stay at home only cook, clean and are submissive. They might also be highly intelligent, educated, engaging and happy too because of the fulfillment they get from actually watching over their family …if nothing else.

 I wish for a women who is strong and confident , who is not dependent on me for every decision.  I surely wish she should work for atleast some time, that will help her to understand the outside world better but decision will entirely be her.I am not sure what time has in store for me  but I hope my flexibility and understanding for her feelings is not taken as weakness of mine.

Please choose your partner carefully. Don't just tolerate, but accept and even celebrate our  women no matter they work in corporate world or is happy to sacrifice their career for family. They both take our homes ahead and our country forward. If we respect women and their decision we will certainly  have a better family and ultimately a better nation.

With Warm Regards ,

ABHI