Thursday, July 24, 2014

Ant and Grasshopper -Indian version of Story - too good and fact


Original Story:
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and
well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the
cold.
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away.
to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
are cold and starving.
next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
food.
Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .
not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven & Everlasting Peace for prompt support
as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .
West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and
Grasshoppers.
Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.
Grasshoppers Act'[POTAGA] , with effect from the beginning of the winter..
Institutions in Government Services.
to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the Government
and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV, BBC, CNN.
company in Silicon Valley ,
in India ,
As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the
grasshoppers, India is still a developing country...!!!

Indian Version:
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
NDTV, BBC, CNN , Asianet show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper
The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.
Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that
Mayawati states this as 'injustice' done on Minorities.
Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for
The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the
Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in
CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in
Railway minister allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway
Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of Terrorism Against
Education minister makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational
The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left
Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.
Railway minister calls it 'Socialistic Justice'.
CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'
Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.
Many years later...
The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar
100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere
....AND
As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the
grasshoppers, India is still a developing country...!!!

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Quotes

Here, then, are 25 of his most famous quotes. True to form, they are short, simple and direct in their wisdom.
  • Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system.
  • What you habitually think largely determines what you will ultimately become.
  • Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.
  • Reality is apparent when one ceases to compare. — There is “what is” only when there is no comparison at all, and to live with what is, is to be peaceful.
  • A good teacher protects his pupils from his own influence.
  • To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.
  • Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
  • If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.
  • Do not deny the classical approach, simply as a reaction, or you will have created another pattern and trapped yourself there.
  • Real living is living for others.
  • I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.
  • Many people dedicate their lives to actualizing a concept of what they should be like, rather than actualizing themselves. This difference between self-actualization and self-image actualization is very important. Most people live only for their image.
  • It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.
  • The stillness in stillness is not the real stillness; only when there is stillness in movement does the universal rhythm manifest.
  • As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.
  • A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready. Not thinking, yet not dreaming. Ready for whatever may come. When the opponent expands, I contract; and when he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity, “I” do not hit, “it” hits all by itself.
  • If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Moving, be like water. Still, be like a mirror. Respond like an echo.
  • Things live by moving and gain strength as they go.
  • Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.
  • A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
  • If you don’t want to slip up tomorrow, speak the truth today.
  • A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.
  • The knowledge and skills you have achieved are meant to be forgotten so you can float comfortably in emptiness, without obstruction.
  • If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you.
  • If there is a God, he is within. You don’t ask God to give you things, you depend on God for your inner theme.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Woman

When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day.......

An angel came by and asked." Why spend so much time on her ?".
.
The lord answered. " Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?".....
" She must be washable but not made of plastic, ..
have more than 200 moving parts which must be replaceable
she must function on all kinds of foods, ...
she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time,
give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart ,
she must do all this with only two hands,.."
She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day".... ...
THE ANGEL was impressed. .." Just two hands.....impossible !" ..
And this is the standard model ? ! ...."
The Angel came closer and touched the woman"...... ..                                                                     " But you have made her so soft, Lord"......" She is soft", said the Lord,
" But I have made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome "...
"Can she think?" The Angel asked...
The Lord answered. " Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate" ...

The Angel touched her cheeks.....
" Lord, it seems this creation is leaking ! You have put too many burdens on her. " ...
"She is not leaking...it is a tear" The Lord corrected the Angel...
" What's it for?" Asked the Angel.....

The Lord said. " Tears are her way of expressing
her grief,
her doubts,
her love,
her loneliness,
her suffering and
her pride."...
THIS made a big impression on the Angel,
" Lord, you are genius.
You thought of everything.
A woman is indeed marvellous !".... ...

Lord said." Indeed she is.
She has strength that amazes a man.
She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.
She holds happiness, love and opinions.
She smiles when she feels like screaming.
She sings when she feels like crying,
cries when happy and
laughs when afraid.
She fights for what she believes in.
Her love is unconditional.
Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies
but she finds strength to get on with life." ..
The Angel asked : So she is a perfect ?
The lord replied : No. She has just one drawback
" She often forgets what she is worth".

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Honest(ly) Exposed

"You can't hang out like western girls, you can't wear shorts, you can't befriend boys unless we force you to sleep with one of our choice!" All because - you are respect of our family, caste, gotra, ancestry and the first born-long dead beings! All because, you are looked upon as a 'sanskaari-kanya', who should love only the one who agrees to marry you for huge heaps of dowry and treat you as domestic assistance, he's the one that we find for you, not because he loves you, oh he doesn't, but he'll fall in love with you. It happens. It will happen. If it doesn't, you have to 'adjust' because that's what you're supposed to do, that's what we expect of you. Divorce is such a western and unethical thing that it brings shame. Your own love interest is an unfaithful and disloyal person who will leave and divorce you, because love marriages don't last like arranged ones! So leave the man you love and marry the one we found for you. He's the right choice. How do we know? Well, we don't. Honestly, we don't. He may turn out to be an unapologetic bastard, but we/you can't do anything about it. This is what happened with us, our parents found a match for us so its our responsibility to find a match for you, doesn't matter if time has changed or if good single guys/girls are almost extinct, but we will make sure that we show off our wealth as much as possible to get you a good groom! The savings which would help us in old age, don't worry about them, we are buying a car for the groom because we won't 'waste' that money in educating you! Educating you will ruin so many years and waste so much time. The time of your youth in which you should get married. That's the marriageable age, isn't it? 
These are few honest reasons given by parents to their daughters when they want to get them married, doesn't matter if the girl wants to study ahead, or doesn't want to marry yet. If you want to study further , get married and take permission of your in-laws. The whole hollow concept of tradition of  marriages is a mockery, the peak of hypocrisy and height of stupidity in this otherwise claimed to be the most moral and righteous culture of entire world. Why are we so double faced in most sensitive matters? We don't want to educate our kids about sensitive matters at right age but expect them to understand everything. We want them to have their own life @ our conditions. We want to stop guys and girls from dating, but we can't stop rapes.  We stop girls from celebrating valentines day in company of their boyfriends, but we can't assure their safety on streets while they're alone.We worship little girls as "devi" during navratras but don't hesitate to kill them in mother's womb. Last but not the least, I never understood this - We warn them from befriending a guy, but we want them to marry a guy she doesn't even know.

Traditions...

Traditions in Hinduism were considered mainly as superstitions, but with the advent of science, it is becoming evident that these traditions are based on some scientific knowledge and moved from generations to generations as traditions. Though many people did not know science in it, they were following it very faithfully over the years. This is an attempt to understand few of them :

Throwing Coin into River :


The general reasoning given for this act is that it brings Good Luck. However, scientifically speaking, in the ancient times, most of the currency used was made of copper unlike the stainless steel coins of today. Copper is a vital metal very useful to the human body and also acts as a cleansing agent in water. Throwing coins in the river was one way our fore-fathers ensured we intake sufficient copper as part of the water as rivers were the only source of drinking water. Making it a custom ensured that all of us follow the practice. - I understood this scientific reason when I was in class 9th told by my science teacher Nafees Ahmed. 

Joining both hands to Greet :

In Hindu culture, people greet each other by joining their palms - termed as “Namaskar.” The general reason behind this tradition is that greeting by joining both the palms means respect. However, scientifically speaking, joining both hands ensures joining the tips of all the fingers together; which are denoted to the pressure points of eyes, ears, and mind. Pressing them together is said to activate the pressure points which helps us remember that person for a long time. And, no germs since we don’t make any physical contact!

Why Indian Women wear toe ring :

Wearing toe rings is not just the significance of married women but there is science behind it. Normally toe rings are worn on the second toe. A particular nerve from the second toe connects the uterus and passes to heart. Wearing toe ring on this finger strengthens the uterus. It will keep it healthy by regulating the blood flow to it and menstrual cycle will be regularized. As Silver is a good conductor, it also absorbs polar energies from the earth and passes it to the body.

Tilak on forehead :

On the forehead, between the two eyebrows, is a spot that is considered as a major nerve point in human body since ancient times. The Tilak is believed to prevent the loss of "energy", the red 'kumkum' between the eyebrows is said to retain energy in the human body and control the various levels of concentration. While applying kumkum the points on the mid-brow region and Adnya-chakra are automatically pressed. This also facilitates the blood supply to the face muscles. 

Why do temples have bell :

People who are visiting the temple should and will Ring the bell before entering the inner sanctum  where the main idol is placed. According to Agama Sastra, the bell is used to give sound for keeping evil forces away and the ring of the bell is pleasant to God. However, the scientific reason behind bells is that their ring clears our mind and helps us stay sharp and keep our full concentration on devotional purpose. These bells are made in such a way that when they produce a sound it creates a unity in the Left and Right parts of our brains. The moment we ring the bell, it produces a sharp and enduring sound which lasts for minimum of 7 seconds in echo mode. The duration of echo is good enough to activate all the seven healing centres in our body. This results in emptying our brain from all negative thoughts.
I understood this fact during MBA from my friend -Agyeya Tripathi.

Why do we have Navratras?
                       
Our living style has drastically changed if we compare it to the society hundreds & thousands of years ago. The traditions which we follow in present are not establishments of today but of the past. Ever thought, why do we have Navratras twice a year unlike other festivals like Deepawali or Holi? Well, both these months are the months of changing seasons and the eating habits of both the seasons are quite different from each other.
Navratras give enough time to the body to adjust and prepare itself for to the changing season. These nine days were marked as a period when people would clean their body system by keeping fasts by avoiding excessive salt and sugar, meditate, gain a lot of positive energy, gain a lot of self confidence & increase the self determination power (fasts are a medium to improve our will power and self determination) and finally get ready for the challenges of the changed season. I came to know this reason during 2003. 

Why do we worship ‘Tulsi’ plant?


Hindu religion has bestowed ‘Tulsi’, with the status of mother. Also known as ‘Sacred or Holy Basil’, Tulsi, has been recognized as a religious and spiritual devout in many parts of the world. The vedic sages knew the benefits of Tulsi and that is why they personified it as a Goddess and gave a clear message to the entire community that it needs to be taken care of by the people, literate or illiterate. We try to protect it because it is like Sanjeevani for the mankind. Tulsi has great medicinal properties. It is a remarkable antibiotic. Taking Tulsi everyday in tea or otherwise increases immunity and help the drinker prevent diseases, stabilize his or her health condition, balance his or her body system and most important of all, prolong his or her life. Keeping Tulsi plant at home prevents insects and mosquitoes from entering the house. It is said that snakes do not dare to go near a Tulsi plant. Maybe that is why ancient people would grow lots of Tulsi near their houses.

Why do we worship 'Peepal Tree'!

Peepal’ tree is almost useless for an ordinary person, except for its shadow. ‘Peepal’ does not a have a delicious fruit, its wood is not strong enough for any purpose then why should a common villager or person worship it or even care for it? Our ancestors knew that ‘Peepal’ is one of the very few trees (or probably the only tree) which produces oxygen even at night. So in order to save this tree because of its unique property they related it to God/religion.one of the very few trees (or probably the only tree) which produces oxygen even at night. So in
Or

Start with spice, end with sweet

der to save this tree because of its unique property they related it to God/religion.
Our ancestors have stressed on the fact that our meals should be started off with something spicy and sweet dishes should be taken towards the end. The significance of this eating practice is that while spicy things activate the digestive juices and acids and ensure that the digestion process goes on smoothly and efficiently, sweets or carbohydrates pulls down the digestive process. Hence, sweets were always recommended to be taken as a last item.

Sikha on male head


Sushrut rishi, the foremost surgeon of Ayurveda, describes the master sensitive spot on the head as Adhipati Marma, where there is a nexus of all nerves. The shikha protects this spot. Below, in the brain, occurs the Brahmarandhra, where the sushumnã (nerve) arrives from the lower part of the body. In Yog, Brahmarandhra is the highest, seventh chakra, with the thousand-petalled lotus. It is the centre of wisdom. The knotted shikhã helps boost this centre and conserve its subtle energy known as ojas.

Applying Mehndi/ henna on hands


Besides lending color to the hands, mehndi is a very powerful medicinal herb. Weddings are stressful, and often, the stress causes headaches and fevers. As the wedding day approaches, the excitement mixed with nervous anticipation can take its toll on the bride and groom. Application of mehndi can prevent too much stress because it cools the body and keeps the nerves from becoming tense. This is the reason why mehndi is applied on the hands and feet, which house nerve endings in the body.

Celebration and cleaning during Diwali


Diwali usually falls in October or November which marks the start of winter season and end of rainy season. Rainy season wasn't a good time for everyone back then; many homes needed repair and renovation after a heavy fall. That is why time before diwali was considered the period during which everyone can indulge in cleaning and beautification of their home. And also take out their winter clothes and pack the summer ones.

Tradition of seating on floor and eating :

This tradition is not just about sitting on floor and eating, it is regarding sitting in the “Sukhasan” position and then eating. Sukhasan is the position we normally use for Yoga asanas. Sitting in this position while eating helps in improving digestion as the circulatory system can focus solely upon digestion and not on our legs dangling from a chair or supporting us while we are standing.

Why not to sleep with your head towards North?


Myth is that it invites ghost or death but since says that it is because human body has its own magnetic field (Also known as hearts magnetic field, because the flow of blood) and Earth is a giant magnet. When we sleep with head towards north, our body's magnetic field become completely asymmetrical to the Earth's Magnetic field. That cause problems related to blood pressure and our heart needs to work harder in order to overcome this asymmetry of Magnetic fields. Apart from this another reason is that Our body have significant amount of iron in our blood. When we sleep in this position, iron from the whole body starts to congregate in brain. This can cause headache, Alzheimer’s Disease, Cognitive Decline, Parkinson disease and brain degeneration.

Surya Namaskar :

Hindus have a tradition of paying regards to Sun God early in the morning by their water offering ritual. It was mainly because looking at Sun rays through water or directly at that time of the day is good for eyes and also by waking up to follow this routine, we become prone to a morning lifestyle and mornings are proven to be the most effective part of the day.

Ear Piercing :

Piercing the ears has a great importance in Indian ethos. Indian physicians and philosophers believe that piercing the ears helps in the development of intellect, power of thinking and decision making faculties. Talkativeness fritters away life energy. Ear piercing helps in speech-restraint. It helps to reduce impertinent behaviour and the ear-channels become free from disorders. This idea appeals to the Western world as well, and so they are getting their ears pierced to wear fancy earrings as a mark of fashion.

Why no meat on a particular day :

Hindus do not eat meat on particular days - not limited but including: Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. The reason is that as a human being we need only a little amount of meat to fulfill the requirements of our body such as iron, vitamin B12 and other vital nutrients. But we often get addicted to eating meat which is not good for health. It can cause diseases like piles, kidney stones, colon cancer etc. Therefore, Hinduism has placed some restrictions by assigning days to particular deities.

Application of Sindoor or Vermillion


It is interesting to note that that the application of sindoor by married women carries a physiological significance. This is so because Sindoor is prepared by mixing turmeric-lime and the metal mercury. Due to its intrinsic properties, mercury, besides controlling blood pressure also activates sexual drive. This also explains why Sindoor is prohibited for the widows. For best results, Sindoor should be applied right upto the pituitary gland where all our feelings are centered. Mercury is also known for removing stress and strain.

The Scientific explanation of touching feet (charan-sparsh):


Usually, the person of whose feet you are touching is either old or pious. When they accept your respect which came from your reduced ego (and is called your shraddha) their hearts emit positive thoughts and energy (which is called their karuna) which reaches you through their hands and toes. In essence, the completed circuit enables flow of energy and increases cosmic energy, switching on a quick connect between two minds and hearts. To an extent, the same is achieved through handshakes and hugs.
The nerves that start from our brain spread across all your body. These nerves or wires end in the fingertips of your hand and feet. When you join the fingertips of your hand to those of their opposite feet, a circuit is immediately formed and the energies of two bodies are connected. Your fingers and palms become the ‘receptor’ of energy and the feet of other person become the ‘giver’ of energy.

Why Do we Fast :

The underlying principle behind fasting is to be found in Ayurveda. This ancient Indian medical system sees the basic cause of many diseases as the accumulation of toxic materials in the digestive system. Regular cleansing of toxic materials keeps one healthy. By fasting, the digestive organs get rest and all body mechanisms are cleansed and corrected. A complete fast is good for heath, and the occasional intake of warm lemon juice during the period of fasting prevents the flatulence.
Since the human body, as explained by Ayurveda, is composed of 80% liquid and 20% solid, like the earth, the gravitational force of the moon affects the fluid contents of the body. It causes emotional imbalances in the body, making some people tense, irritable and violent. Fasting acts as antidote, for it lowers the acid content in the body which helps people to retain their sanity. Research suggests there are major health benefits to caloric restriction like reduced risks of cancer, cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, immune disorders etc.

Why worship Idol :

Hinduism propagates idol worship more than any other religion. Researchers say that this was initiated for the purpose of increasing concentration during prayers. According to psychiatrists, a man will shape his thoughts as per what he sees. If you have 3 different objects in front of you, your thinking will change according to the object you are viewing. Similarly, in ancient India, idol worship was established so that when people view idols it is easy for them to concentrate to gain spiritual energy and meditate without mental diversion.

Why should Tulsi not be chewed with teeth?


It is a popular belief that Tulsi is the wife of Lord Vishnu; therefore, chewing it will be a mark of disrespect. However, botanists, in the course of their research, found that Tulsi plant has the maximum of mercury. If raw mercury is applied to teeth, they fall immediately. That’s why in Hindu religion, Tulsi leaves are not chewed but swallowed.

Tilgur :

Tilgul is a very colorful and excellent sesame candy made of sesame seeds and jaggery. Til means sesame seeds whereas gul means jaggery in Marathi/ Hindi. Since Makar Sankranti is celebrated in mid winter ideally Tilgul recipe is a combination that helps keep the body warm due to these heat generating ingredients making it a healthy sweet to enjoy. In Ayurveda, Sesame is considered to be an extremely beneficial and strong medicine. Sesame laddu's are beneficial for those children who normally have the problem of bed-wetting in winters.

Bangles :

Normally the wrist portion is in constant activation on any human. Also the pulse beat in this portion is mostly checked for all sorts of ailments. The Bangles used by women are normally in the wrist part of ones hand and its constant friction increases the blood circulation level. Further more the electricity passing out through outer skin is again reverted to one's own body because of the ring shaped bangles, which has no ends to pass the energy outside but to send it back to the body.

There are many other traditions which people are following without knowing a reason . Though most of them still make sense even if we don't know the reason but many of them are outdated as well and hold no relevance in today's time. All elders should try to figure out reasons for all these traditions and youth should try to search more about these as everything has a reason it's just we know the right reason or not. 



Saturday, July 12, 2014

Marriage Pressure...

India’s respectable cultural tradition of revering elders has many several benefits and shortcomings. The most personal way in which Indians experience this is when it comes to marriage. Indians, both men and women, lack agency when it comes to making the most important decision of their life.
I have nothing against marriage (arranged or otherwise). Indeed, marriage and the scripted Indian life provide a degree of stability to an otherwise chaotic country. But often, men are forced to accept stable, high-paying professions that they are not passionate about, such as medicine, engineering, finance and consulting, because of the job security and social status that they provide. Haven’t you ever wondered why so many Indian men are doctors, engineers and increasingly lured into the IT, finance and consulting industries? The pressures on Indian youth to marry young explain the career choices men make. Unfortunately, Indian society dictates that money and stability are what men are good for.
In Indian society a good husband is measured by the expense account he affords his wife. The arts and humanities sadly do not make the cut. Entrepreneurship is not always encouraged either and is usually pursued out of necessity. How do you feel about the fact that men have to out-earn their partners? Would you marry a man who made less than you? Even if you wanted to, chances are that your family would not approve it.
Not a week (for many, not even a day)- goes by in the lives of Indian youth without being bombarded with questions about marriage. Yes, men are constantly questioned about when they are getting married, especially once they start working. These pressures have very real consequences. This phenomenon’s impact on women is often discussed, rarely is its impact on Indian men talked of. The reality is that Indian society’s attitude towards marriage places huge constraints on the life choices of males as well. 
Parents want their daughters to have good education, success in career and a happy life but when it comes to marriage, most of the wishes of girls are compromised. If they want to do something out of the league they have been told to do such things after marriage with the permission of in-laws. I wonder why ? 
Other side , if a boy shows softer side or flexibility in marriage i.e, understanding the situation of girl , trying to make others understand the feeling of girl, the boy may be considered weak to carry out his responsibilities. Showing flexibility and understanding others situation stamps a boy as weak link in holding the responsibility of marriage. Flexibility , respect and understanding stamp you as weak . I wonder- How ?
 I saw parents constantly guiding their daughters to stay away and not talk to boys specially strangers. Once she is marriageable age, the same parents ask their girl to choose a  boy amongest they chose for her to spend life. Parents who told their daughters to stay away for 22 years suddenly changes and wants their daughter to say Yes for marriage with some stranger and share everything she has and bend herself to the need of his in-laws.   I wonder-Why ?  
Yes, a man can wait until his late 20s and early 30s before seriously looking for a life partner without having to worry about finding a desirable mate. Unlike women, a man does not have to choose between a career and a family. But the pressure of earning a higher income than his partner in order to provide for his family limits the professional choices of men.
There are certain benefits when one decides to fight the battles and become a ‘career woman‘. A career woman can make the difficult decision to quit her corporate job (consulting, finance) and be employed in a successful NGO. She can afford to pursue a more fulfilling career and live with a big cut in her salary because she does not have the pressure to ‘be the breadwinner.‘ If a man were to do the same thing then he would face considerable familial pressures. While men are afforded a few more years before being pushed to tie the knot, they too must live a scripted life, which inhibits the enrichment of individuals and society.
I remember once I was bombarded with examples of my married cousins and friends, raising their family. I told them not to compare me with others because today they want what my friends did but trust me they won't love it if I do everything like my friends do. 
Even though I am an able bodied male with master's degrees I am (thankfully) not a hot commodity on the Indian marriage market given my choice to balance the traditions and practicality of life. I am somehow able to convince my parents that all rituals and customs are men made and they changes with time. That doesn't mean that I don't have marriage pressure. 
Indian marriage, for all its merits, especially the strong support structure provided by deep familial ties, is at its core an exchange of material welfare for desirous traits. It is not romantic (but can be exciting). Perhaps that is why we need such elaborate celebrations. Making the process larger than life makes up for an Indian wedding’s contractual reality.

A real man understand the difference between what looks cool and what is cool. Clothing , fast cars, and other materials possessions do not show the true measure of a man. I agree these are required to a certain extent but this is a mean not an end in itself. A true man understands compassion as well as strength, and they are not afraid to show a softer side at times. The way that a man takes care of his family and other responsibilities without having to be told to, because this is the right thing to do in a world having to be told to , because this is the right thing to do in a world that seems to reward instant gratification instead of hard work and integrity.  Real man understand patience and treat their loved ones with respect , never using physical violence or threat in order to control others. Lying , cheating and concealing material information which may have effect on relationship do not show strength , these are traits of a boy who have never grown into mature men in the first place. 


Sunday, July 6, 2014

WHY ME ?

...

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet..
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon..
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last , Mom.
Before I say bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die? ...