THE OTHER OF ME .....

Jeevan ki iss andheri raah par safalta aaise lagti hai jaise cycle k paidal k chalne par jalne waali batti ho. Jab tak paidal k upar meri do tange chal rahi hai tab tak mere path par ye batti jagmagaati rahegi lekin jis din main thak gaya aur meri tange ruk gayi, andhakaar mere saamne baahe failaye khada hoga .Jaag Jaag aab Jaag...unnati k liye jaag , ghor needra ka parityag kar ... bahut so liya aab jaag!!!

Difference between men and women...

NAMES: If sita , gita, Mona and Babita go out for lunch, they will call each other sita , gita ,mona and babita. If Ravi, Chetan , ajay and Anand go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as mote , naag, bhaise and sukhi haddi. EATING OUT: When the bill arrives,Ravi,Chetan,ajay and Anand will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS: A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. FINAL THOUGHT: Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

SCHOOL GIFTS ...

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." " That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

What should I do to marry a rich guy ?

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum: I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough. I'm here humbly to ask a few questions: 1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym) 2) Which age group should I target? 3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys 4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married) Ms. Pretty Awesome reply: Dear Ms. Pretty, I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later. By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool. Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do contact me... signed, CEO J.P. Morgan :)

The Problem with girls...

if u treat her nicely , she says u r in love with her,

if u don't she says u r proud.

if u dress nicely, she says u r trying to lure her ,

if u don;t she says u are from jungle.

if u argue with her , she says u r stubborn,

if u keep quite ,she says u have no mind.

if u don,t love her ,she tries to posses you ,

if u love her , she tries to leave you .

if u don;t make love with her , she says, u don't love her ,

if u do !! she says u r cheap.

if u tell her ur problem , she says u r troublesome,

if u don't, she says u don't trust her.

if u scold her, u r like a chacha to her ,

if she scolds u , its is because she cares for u .

if u break ur promise , u cannot be trusted,

if she breaks her , she is forced to do so.

if u hurt her ,u r cruel ,

if she hurts u, you are too sensitiveand so hard to please .

if u tell this to girls , she will swear that its not true...

but if u don't they will say u r selfish .

A creed to live by ...

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.

It is because we are different that each one of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important .

Only you know what is best for you .

Dont give up when you still have something to give

nothing is really over until u stop trying .

Don't be afraid to accept that you are less than perfect ,

it is a fragile thread that binds each of us to each other .

Don't be afraid to encounter risks,

it is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't dismiss your dreams ,

to be without dreams is to be without hope

to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast

that you forgot not only where u have been

but also where u r going ?

life is not a race

but a journey to be savored each step of the way

Something to cheer ...

Every cloud has a silver lining,

no matter what happens or how bad it seems today, life must go

and and it will be better tomarrow,

going through some dark moments in the own little life

and in own little way ,

we have the talent of magnifying

a personal crisis into headline material

and losing our persepective completely.

Avinash

Department in nature's ministry

Father of the nation..............................................................   Shiva

Head of the state............................................... ...................  Vishnu

Head of the rulling party............ .........................................     Indra

Ministry of construction..................... ................................      Brahma

Water and natural resources ..............................................      Varun

Ministry of finance ...............................................................    Laxmi

Ministry of education................................................. .........     Saraswati

Minister of Defence...............................................................   Durga

Minister of communication and broadcasting...................          Narad

Minister of energy ........................................... ...................     Surya

Minister of law and justice ........................... ....................       Yum