If You Care...

I can never forget Miss Prema, my school teacher. Years ago, my father got transferred from Kolkata to Chennai. As it was mid-term, I had lost six months of school and struggled to catch up on studies. I joined fourth standard and worked really hard to keep pace with the others. Mid-term exams were upon us, and the dreaded day came up, when the class teacher would read out all our report cards. Ms Prema called out our names followed by a few words of encouragement for each student. The toppers got shiny trophies and a certificate of merit. My name was read out the last as I was new to the class. She handed, with flourish, a green colored stub of a pencil to me and said, “I am sure you will do much better in the coming days … This is for your efforts,” she said and patted me on my back.

The moment was special—while other students were given a trophy and a certificate, I was given a used pencil stub. But that was priceless. That pencil till date remains as the single most memorable recognition in my life. It left an indelible impression on me for a reason: it was my teacher’s way of reposing faith and trust in me. While all others were acknowledged of their achievements, Ms Prema stoked the confidence in me and recognized my efforts in a special way.

Years passed and I got married. I remember my wife had cooked us our first meal. I had hardly had my first morsel when she asked me how it was. I smiled, and said it was the most wonderful food I had ever tasted and added that it was much better than my mother's cooking. (It’s a different matter that she was not around). It was a terrific moment of bonding. I felt great, and she felt that she has won the 'Master Chef' award. In that moment, I realized that the giver and the receiver both feel great about it. It was to me a moment of epiphany! You derive an immense sense of satisfaction in the instance when you appreciate someone for the right reason, and in the receiver, there is great joy of being recognized.

Recently, I went to a colleague at her workplace. Her workstation was festooned with certificates and trophies. I asked her what was the most prized one in that lot, and she picked among all her medals, a handwritten note given by her boss. 'Thank you for all that you do' it read. “Priceless,” she said. That piece of paper, for her, mattered the most, because it was a real token of appreciation of her achievement, albeit small. She said that he had come over to her desk and personally pinned it on her board. I could see pride in her eyes, a moment of great joy that she was reliving.

We have several recognition programs. The ones that really work are the ones that are about recognition beyond the program. Small acts of kindness go a long way. Moments matter. We tend to find faults easily. Can we catch people doing something right and show that you care? In that moment, it can be life changing, for these are the moments that matter! And shows that you care.

This morning, I went to the badminton court to meet some of my colleagues, who were playing there. They invited me to play the game that I had never played before. I started with a lot of tentativeness, and for each of my return of the shuttle, there was such applause and encouragement abounding that when I left the court, I was feeling like a champion. I promised that I would return the following Sunday to play again. Recognition is like oxygen—a live-giver. Everybody needs to be appreciated. People stay in organizations but they stay because there is someone who cares, and values what they do.

We all need appreciation. Even bosses need them. As do your spouse, children, and other family members. Everyone! Facebook cracked the code and added the 'Like' button (rather than a ‘Dislike’ feature). No wonder we turn to it repeatedly, for there are many out there who really care to 'Like' what you post. Small acts of kindness go a long way.

Start recognizing and appreciating anyone you care about. Your spouse, colleagues, friends, relatives all need a hug. Even virtually will do … and let me know what your call meant to that old aunt that you almost forgot, or to your long lost friend who made a difference to your life. This morning I remembered the green pencil stub of Ms Prema and I smiled